A follow up to “how do you deux”

I’ve had the thoughts. I’ve looked longingly at all of V’s tiny newborn clothes that I carefully washed and set folded into tiny squares to welcome what I referred to as the “next baby”. As my own baby grew with leaps and bounds- I had a nagging thought in the back of my mind- Could I do this again?
Sure- I dont always recall how ridiculously sick I was.
How often I had to pee in the middle of the night
or how delirious I was on the months that by baby wouldn’t sleep longer than 20 minutes at a time.

My husband and I have struggled. We didn’t do well with little to no sleep under our belts, and to be honest, it was brutal at times. I loved having my little girl. I loved everything about it. Everyone says the time goes by fast- and even now I can say, it really does.

But I feel, with no regrets, that I’ve made the most of those moments. The hubs and I have to recently decided that this is our family. Three is the number we shall be. I honestly feel like we are being trend setters here. Besides very few of our close friends, every family we know has two or more children- or at least has plans for more.

I’m really amazed how much goes into “family planning”. It is no small task. I’ve heard others talk about the looks and judgement they receive for having multiple children, and I think the threats follow in this category as well. Threats that she will be “spoiled”, “lonely”,or “resentful” are a few that come to mind. I completely agree that siblings can form bonds that last a lifetime. I also think there is a great gap that has risen in the rest of family. What about cousins? Family friends? Family in general! Friends in general!
Also, is this the only reason I should make the choice to have another child? Because I don’t think it’s a good enough reason. In our generation there is a real lack in pursuing and maintaining friendships- and I think this is sad. This is value I really hope to cultivate as a parent. She has an amazing blessing already- a large, loving family. Both of her parents, both sets of grandparents, multiple uncles, aunts and cousins. This is something that was very lacking in my childhood. This is where we are going to start. Taking a chance to learn how to love and appreciate the family at hand. To take things as they are and whether they are good or bad- learn how to embrace them, and form bonds.

I want to live life with my daughter. Travel, eat food, give her an education. I don’t want her childhood experience to have every event linked to strife over finances. There are much more personal reasons that this decision has been made, this is just scraping the surface. But this is what I know- this is us, for now…


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